A Number Four Essay

It's not as hard as you think - your answers need not necessarily be long nor complicated.  They need to answer the question, they need to make sense even to someone who hasn't read the question, they need to be specific naming details, giving backround information and contain few if any general statements. 


Here is the answer that received a four on our last opportunity.  It was written by Caleb a sixth grader.  It's not perfect, but I think he's on the right track with the most important things that I expect out of you all.  I hope posting this example helps you and I appreciate Caleb allowing me to share it:

I think Thomas Paine was an agitator of war and to back that up I would say that because he wrote Common Sense urging people to fight for freedom.  And it was the best selling pamphlet in America and he donated about every penny to the Continental Army.

If I were at this point grading writing and not just content (and especially for some of you eigth and ninth graders I do take this into account a bit) I think you could take Caleb's answer and turn it into this:

Thomas Paine was an agitator for war in the years that led up to the Declaration of Independence.  He published a pamphlet titled 'Common Sense' that urged people to fight for their freedom.  Common Sense was the best selling pamphlet in America.  Instead of keeping the profit for himself, though, Paine used it to support the war effort donating nearly every penny to the Continental Army.

For some of you older students right now I hope for this answer (a second hurdle answer), but frankly would be thrilled with the first hurdle as a warm up.  The next goal is for you to be able to add to the second answer things like the date, and more specific details about what Paine wrote in Common Sense - like that his writing spoke directly against the king and even against all kings.  This is what I'm calling a third hurdle number four answer.


Even better if you could use the quote of the pretended 'Father of his people who can unfeelingly hear of their slaughter, and composedly sleep with their blood upon his soul' or even just paraphrase or refer to it.  Even better still would be to compare Paine to John Adams who Bennett said helped men see their political and legal rights. He said Paine moved men's emotions AND that he used the Bible and their strong religious beliefs to stir them up against the king.  All this information and even more is on p 81 of your text.  These are components of a fourth hurdle numer four answer! 


My goal over the next two years is to encourage you and exhort you in your reading so that you can begin to form second hurdle and third hurdle answers.  My hope is that some of you can begin to approach and clear the fourth hurdle by the end of next year.


But for now Caleb's answer is the first hurdle I've placed on the track.  A few of you have come close, but he was the first to clear it.  Once most of you are jumping the first hurdle and doing it routinely we'll move on to a second hurdle answer in which I raise the bar on the difficulty of reaching a four.  To quote Jan Karon, "There is rest for the weary and the wicked don't need none."


Also note for many questions it's not really about 'what' your answer is - it's how well you answer it!  When I came up with this question I had two or three people in my mind (I didn't sit down and make a list of them all) and Thomas Paine wasn't on my short list!  If Caleb had only named Paine and given me general statements I might have given him 2 points, but he made a good argument and backed it up. 


So, don't worry about what answer you think I'm looking for.  What I'm really looking for is how well you form YOUR answer!